'cause i'm the miggity miggity mack daddy...'

why does watching luke take a crap make me laugh?

ok so i somehow got the swine flu. awesome. luckily now, i feel better. but dr samsula says i'm still contagious until monday. sucks. i dont want steph or luke to catch it. so i'm staying with my parents in mckinney. and since i dont want them to catch it either, i'm stuck in my brother's bedroom. at least i have a computer. but listening to music and watching movies on netflix only can take you so far.
i actually went home yesterday. but i couldnt do anything. and i had to wear that michael jackson mask. i couldnt even hold luke. it sucked. i almost didnt want to be there. i mean it was pretty pointless.
but at least i feel better now.
ok now on to my randomness.


so i found on the internet during my hours and hours of boredom this kid...he plays for this junior team in canada called the brandon wheat kings. he was born in brandon, manitoba. and his last name is king. and his parents named him wheaton. so wheaton king of brandon plays for the brandon wheat kings. awesome. even if my last name was king and i was the biggest wheat kings fan, i dont think i have the balls to name my kid after my favorite team. i know its not the same but i would have never named luke dallas stars mcdonald. wait...maybe ;)
while i've been in prison, i've been watching a lot of man v. food. i love that show. kinda proves that i'm a fat kid. that and my first word was cake. i was thinking though. that would be the greatest job. shows like man v food and diners driveins and dives where you go around and eat awesome food would be great. i would gladly quit nursing and eat food all day. but i would probably be about 700 pounds after a while. if you look at guy fieri at the beginning of diners dineins and dives and now, he's gained some weight. but still i'd like to take a road trip to eat at some awesome restaurants.
well today is saturday. and saturday means college football. but also, today is the first game for the dallas stars. so i have three games to watch at 630. tulsa/rice, ou/miami, stars/preds. i'm kinda glad tcu/smu isnt on tv. that would make 4. i need more than one tv in here. but that would require me winning the lottery.

what also kinda sucks about being on lockdown is that i cant go to church. i know. me into church. weird. but we've finally found a church that we like.

i've grown up going to church every sunday. but for some reason, i've always been against going. now, i've never ever been against Jesus or God. ok. but i've never wanted to go. i've never been comfortable. i dont know. i guess i never fit in. i guess thats it. i never felt like the people my age who went to my church actually wanted me there. and i always felt like everyone at my church back home were hypocrites. but now i know everyone is a hypocrite. still. i just felt like everyone there talked all godly but went on to be a bitch after sunday.

but mostly i feel like i never got anything out of sermons when i was younger. now some of that is probably because i was immature. but a lot of it i feel is because of...um, i guess, microwave sermons. i mean, preaching prepackaged sermons so that we can beat out the methodists to tamolly's or china star. i mean when the preacher himself looks at his own watch during the sermon you have a bit of a problem. and i'm not just talking about my church in paris. i noticed these sermons when we were looking for a church in the dallas area.

i just feel like we found a church that is excited. thats all i needed. that and i'm more mature.

so i went home yesterday. i said that already but luke looked so much bigger. and it had only been 3 days. crazy. he's still little as far as percentages go. but look at me. seriously. he's gonna be big. i can just tell. and i know i'm biased. but i still think he could be the next gerber baby.

i dont think i can just be happy with the way things are. for the past year or so, the census in day surgery has been low. so at least once a week i would be cancelled. so 2 days per pay period would be missing from my paycheck....sucks. but then, a handful of staff, each with a different reason, was out...and some of them still out. and i didnt get cancelled anymore. and i was pissed off about that too. i had gotten used to working 4 days a week. i wish i could just shut up and be happy about it. and i had wished i could take a vacation. if i could just take a week vacation, i would just be refreshed. but then i was forced to take one with the flu. funny how life works.

oh, and steph's incision actually finished. the whole story on that one...a week after luke was born, steph's c-section incision formed a seroma. steph's OB saw her in the office and cut the incision back open to drain the fluid out. she left it open. and honestly, i think the fact that i'm a nurse didnt really help. she had me pack the dressing twice a day with iodoform gauze...which really means nothing to you. and that plan sorta worked for a while. but it was very very very slow. fast forward a few months...it basically stops healing and was starting to open back up. i ask steph to call her OB's office to be see immediately. we go in and see the nurse...and we get zero zero nothing none no help. zero. so i had to find our own wound care clinic...which i should have done in the BEGINNING. whatever. its past.

so we go to the wound care specialist. i was only able to go to one appointment with steph. but the doctor is great. very very nice. very good at explaining what to do. did not rush with questions. and he seemed to know what he was doing. he said that being a nurse and packing the wound like a nurse would actually made the process longer. if i was just some dude, the wound would have gotten infected and we would have need to go to a wound specialist earlier. sucks. BUT... after months and months of doing the incorrect thing with the wound, it started to heal. so thursday, steph went to her final wound care appointment. and it is officially healed. so to dr lindsay, thank you and i am forever grateful.

and to all surgeons, please dont pretend you know everything because you dont. if you dont know wound care, dont fucking pretend because your patients are the ones who suffer. just give it up and refer them.

ok i guess i'm done.

but i found a video of the dan band dancing to beyonce's single ladies. its awesome. this is the greatest video of all time, kanye.

Attempted the taste of dallas. Unfortunately, walking in dallas is like walking on the surface of the sun.

Don't get me wrong. I like my job just fine. But being at the hospital at 545am sucks my asshole.

Why do random people think its cool to touch a baby they don't know?

And i realized that anyone who reads these will re read these individual messages over and over for them to make sense.

But i'm really ready and excited to see Steph and Luke.

I really should be packing for tulsa. But this couch is too comfortable.
And i'm kinda dreading that 5 hour drive after work.

Ok so i'm just trying this out. Blogging from my cell. Wow i just realized how lazy i am. Too lazy to post from my actual computer. Greatness.

hey steph has a blog now. liketherestaurant.blogspot.com

i was gonna do an entry on the adventures with luke and all of the problems associated, but most of the problems have or are about to resolve. so thats good.
luke is doing well now. after the initial weight loss, we started formula. he's now 8 pounds 15 ounces as of last week.
he still spits up a lot. we started luke on some zantac elixir. he still spits up. but we arent being very good about giving it to him like we're supposed to. i still think its getting better though.
i dont like to talk about it especially to pregnant ladies, but steph's incision is getting better too. i'm noticing that the amount of gauze required for packing is getting less and less every day. it does suck that we'll have to do this pretty much all summer. i really am glad i'm a nurse though. i talking to a nurse i work with. she had the same thing steph had. but her husband is an engineer. and her incision got infected and she had to have surgery. but steph's is progressing very well.
everything else is ok. he's not sleeping through the night yet. but i'm not expecting him to either. but we did buy thing sweet ass white noise cd to help him sleep. so now he only wakes up because he's hungry. he only wakes up once or twice a night. not bad.
there really isnt much else going on with me. so i guess thats it.

yeah. overhype. its the fucking flu. more people have died from the regular ass flu. 30000. 8 have died from this one. fuck.
how come the people in mexico died? because its fucking mexico! seriously.
now, you should treat it like the regular flu. wash your hands and whatnot. but we dont have to all go into isolation over it. damn. fucking media.

its midnight. i'm up. steph's asleep. and so is luke.
i figure i might as well tell the story of our newest addition.
so on monday, i was canceled from work. and steph had decided to take maternity leave for the week before she was due. so we decided to get out and walk around the mall to hopefully start labor...and to have lunch with maryann. we kinda overdid it with the walking. steph was tired. so we went home and did nothing. we were trying to not get worked up about the baby coming soon. but then, at 9:30p, steph went to the bathroom...and her water broke.
now, her water breaking wasnt...you know, the typical gushing of fluid. it was a small trickle. i was expecting...well, i dont really know what i was expecting...but at least more than that.then we went through the whole do we go or do we wait thing. we called the doctor on call and told her the deal. she didnt say but i got the feeling that she didnt think her water was actually broken. but steph couldnt get off the toilet because she kept leaking. so i made an executive decision to go to the hospital. and she actually listened to me. i know, amazing.
when we found out we were pregnant, there was a moment of shocked silence. when we found out the baby is a boy, there was a moment of shocked silence. and of course, during the drive to the hospital, there was a long, long period of shocked silence. it was the longest drive. and it was like the drive never happened. every thought runs through your head...like i'm excited and panicked at the same time. i could barely function. and i had to drive a car. i felt like i almost needed to call 911 for an ambulance just to for safety.
ok so we get to the hospital. we get to labor and delivery. we get her in the gown and everything else...which was actually difficult with her still leaking. i wont go all into it. but its funny now.
once we got settled, the nurse had to run a test to make sure the leaking was actually amniotic fluid. i didnt have any doubt. in fact, i wanted to go ahead and call in for work the next day. but the first test came back negative. but the nurse said that it was wrong about half the time. i know that as a nurse, you have to do what the order says. i know this. but i wish she could have just done the more accurate test. anyway, the more accurate test came back positive of amniotic fluid. so this baby was coming in at least 24 hours. then i really got this feeling of "hell yeah!" and "holy shit!" at the same time. we decided to make all of the necessary phone calls...mostly to family since at was 1130 by that time. her parents decided to start driving it from tulsa. my mom decided to stay home since my parents live 30 minutes away. and my brother decided to do the same. my dad was working that night. but since he drives around checking on other tlc ambulance crews around dfw, he decided to kinda slack off and visit us at 130am. steph wanted to take a nap and i needed some caffeine desperately. so dad took me to walgreens and i stocked up.
so i got back. and dad left when the contractions started up stronger and more often. steph's contractions were long...like a few minutes long as opposed to 30 seconds. and luke wasnt handling them well. his heart rate would drop. steph was hurting more and more. but the nurses did not want to give her any more iv meds since the meds would likely cause luke's heart rate to drop too. so the next option was for steph to get her epidural. good. i was glad that they were gonna do it early in the game. the CRNA who did the procedure was great. and she got it on the first stick...which i'm sure they normally do but i've seen them miss before.
once the epidural was in, they gave her some pain meds. didnt really say what they gave. but whatever. it worked. and steph was able to sleep. unfortunately for me, i had downed a 5 hour energy about ten minutes before the epidural. so i spent the night on a very uncomfortable cot/chair thing updating on facebook and myspace from my cell phone.
at about 9am, the meds they gave through the epidural started to ware off. and it was obvious that steph had gotten used to not really feeling to pain of the contractions. when she could feel them, she was having a lot of pain from less intense contractions. that sucked. it sucked for me because i couldnt really do anything. we were in a hospital. my domain. and i couldnt go get something...though i bet i could have found exactly what i needed and had given it even though it wasnt my unit.
at the same time, luke's heart rate was still going down with each contraction. but, it was only happening when they would lay steph on her left side. when she was on the right side, everything was cool. i know i'm a nurse. but i dont know everything. i actually know very little about the ob/gyn women's services thing. i just figure if the right side works, use it. whatever. i guess i'd rather them be concerned about it and nothing happen than not be concerned and something serious happen.
so its 9am. steph is dilated to an 8. this whole deal is happening with luke. they said they would be back to check everything again at 10am and if nothing else has progressed, then we would have to go with a c-section. actually thats what we wanted. or did we? i didnt want steph to go through any pain. if i could have changed places, i would have. that isnt bullshit. i would.
anyway, the CRNA comes in and gives the full on numbing med through the epidural. it did work. they did this test where they touch parts of her body with a needle to see if steph could feel it. i'm glad. you always hear of these epidurals that dont work.
oh yeah. at some point, steph's parents came by. i knew i'd forget something.
and both my parents were there. and my brother too. gabby wasnt yet. she had a class she couldnt miss. thats cool. she's family...but not officially yet.
so its time to go. and steph starts to get sick...nauseous. david had just shown up from ft worth. and my mom asked if it was ok if david could say hi before she went to the OR. we said no. mom misunderstood and sent david in. as soon as david stepped in, she puked. and without saying a word, david turned around and left. its funny now. its time to go. we start rolling out. and then they stick me in a room across from the OR by myself for what seems like an hour and a half. i'm sure it wasnt longer than 15 minutes. probably 10. during that time, i start flipping out...like most would in that situation. at least dr paroski came by and talked to me before anything went down.
apparently in OR, steph was doing the same thing. and dr paroski ordered someone to come get me. and when no one moved, she barked it out more serious like. steph said she had never seen dr paroski sound like a doctor before.
anyway, so there i am. in scrubs and a surgical cap. and the booties too. i'd worn all of these things before...but never with sandals on. that was weird. and i was walking into OR...only the other times i had been in an OR it wasnt with my wife as the patient. it was like a dream. but walking into the OR, there suite next door had metallica's master of puppets playing. for some reason, i took this as a good sign. a good song...good day, good procedure, good baby...uh, i guess.
i sat right next to steph's head...since they had her draped from her neck down. she was very drugged...or tired. probably both.
officially, the surgery started at 1059am. by 1113am, our son, Luke Brayden, was born. 6 pounds 15.3 ounces. 20.75 inches long.
i tried to take some pictures from the beginning. i got some. not very good though. the nurse took some for me under the heat lamp thing. then they gave him to me. honestly, this is gonna sound awful. but i was really more concerned how steph was doing. i wish i could say it was this amazing moment. i just wanted to skip ahead to everyone being ok. it wasnt 3 minutes until we had to take luke to the nursery so they could do their thing. i got more shots of him on the scale and all that stuff. he didnt cry. like at all. until...they took his rectal temp. some people arent cool with that. i am. rectal is the most accurate route of temperature. so i was ok with it. but after that he didnt cry much.
i left the nursery. the rest of the family was there watching him from the outside glass. i went to try and get back to recovery to see steph. recovery is in L&D. and L&D is locked. i picked up the phone to get back in. i told them the deal and they wouldnt let me back in. i would have been pissed off if i hadnt been so sleep deprived. i'm actually pissed off about it now. but it doesnt matter now. they said they'd get me in about 5 minutes. so i waited in the waiting room...for 5 minutes...15 minutes...i was in waiting for 45 minutes. no i'm not exaggerating. i watched an episode and a half of home improvement. then they let me in. i didnt care about the time after i got it. i just wanted to see steph.
i can say this now. she looked like shit. i know she just had a baby. she looked like shit in a different way. she was very pale. i wanted to know what her labs were. i thought she needed a blood transfusion. damn i'm such a nurse. but i decided i needed to leave and let her take a much much needed nap.
so at 1pm, she was taken to her post partum room. everyone was there. it was a bit
stressful. steph finally held luke. it was a great thing. glad we have a picture of that.
steph progressed pretty quickly. she had a clear liquid diet for dinner. and she had a regular diet the next morning for breakfast. since she had no problems using the restroom, she had her iv taken out the next morning. we were waking up every 2 hours or so to breast feed. yes i woke up too. dude, its only fair. but i wanted to help if i could.
dude, breastfeeding is a bitch. i'm still glad we're trying. but i understand ladies who quit very close to the beginning. there's more to that. but another story for another time.
thursday night about 830. dr paroski came back to do the circumcision. some people have different opinions about doing the circumcision. here's mine. in day surgery, where i work, we see all different types of procedures. one is a circumcision. no, not on babies...but on old dudes. when i asked one of my 80 year old patients why now. its either because the foreskin gets infected all the time or the foreskin basically turns into a rubber band and constricts to penis. so there. thats why we did it. i didnt want to give him an errand in 80 years.
i felt bad though. cutting penis is not cool. but he did stop crying. and its ok now. just saying.
so friday morning. and its discharge day. dr paroski came by early in the morning and wrote the dc order. we were cleared to go. but, the pediatrician, dr levy hadnt come back to dc luke. i understood when my patients would get mad at the doctors for not coming by to send them home. i did. but it was that day that i actually fully understood. we didnt get discharged until about 1pm. oh well. at least we were home...with everyone intact. God is good.
i'll tell about the two weeks at home later. i've gotta feed luke in about 15 minutes.
later

so you know how i said i hadnt worried yet? well suddenly today i started worrying...about everything. like my whole life.
actually steph thinks it started from just one thing. its probably true. i have to take care of a doctor tomorrow. its normally not a big deal. i dont know what the problem is this time. i actually think this particular doctor is a douchebag. his personality just makes me nervous. i'm just afraid he'll be very difficult to take care of. and so i'm stressed out about it.
and once i started to think about that. i thought about how i feel more and more pressure at work to take on more responsibility. i feel i already have enough responsibility trying to take care of people. i've been named to a committee...which i know isnt a big deal, but i've never been on one before. and i was put on it because the fucking CNO of the hospital asked for me apparently.
and census is low. so i get canceled...like at least once a week. so twice a paycheck. so less money. do i look for another job? do i look for day surgery in another hospital or do i do something else? maybe home health? but is this the right time with the baby coming soon?
actually what i did is got a part time home health job. i'm gonna see a couple patients a week. that will hopefully make up some of my missing hours. if i decide i like it a lot, i might decide to do it full time. i make $37 a visit. so i did the math and figured out that i would have to take 18 patients per week to make what i make right now. and i could see 6 patients a day for 3 days. i would work monday tuesday wednesday and be off thursday friday. it seems sweet. but i dont ever feel ok until i do it. i'm actually going on an orientation visit on friday. so we'll see.
so steph's doctor said that she is measuring six weeks ahead of schedule. whoa. soon. what does all that stuff mean? i mean i know i'm a nurse. but i dont know anything about that stuff. we wont know much until tuesday when we do the ultrasound again. so i shouldnt worry. and i didnt until now.
and how long should i take off work with steph? i only have two weeks saved. should i take short term disability? a little much?
well at least luke doesnt have anything wrong.
but i still need a drink.

ok. stuff that has happened since my last entries.
1. alex rodriguez is a fucking liar.
2. david beckham might come back to mls after all. but he might not. whatever.
3. the dallas stars suck again. dammit.

as far as steph's pregnancy goes...well, she's over it. that and we're pretty close to getting all the stuff we need. the shower has come and gone. i went to the stars game. and yeah they lost. but yeah. we got hooked up phat. we got all of the big ticket items on our registry. and then the next week, steph's band kids gave us all kinds of diapers. seriously. we dont have enough room to hold them all. and we really appreciate everything. we're very blessed.
i also painted luke's room when steph was at tmea. that was a pain in the ass...mostly because i've never painted anything before. anyway, its done. i kinda wish i didnt do it because now, i'll always look at the places i didnt do a good job. i'm sure i'll eventually get over it.
and...we bought a new tv for the living room. i've been waiting ever since i graduated to buy a new badass tv. my goal was to save my money for one. when i finally have enough to buy it, i bought steph's engagement ring. dont take it wrong. i'd do it the same way again. but this tv has been a long time coming. we figured we should buy it now because once luke comes, we wont be able to spend stupid money like we can right now.
i really feel like i should be more stressed out about becoming a father in a few weeks. but i'm not. and i suck at babies. for as long as i can remember i've been afraid that i would break one. i guess i felt that way because it wasnt mine. this one is ours. i dont really know why, but i feel this sense of calm. i hope it stays that way.
from what i see out of steph, pregnancy sucks balls. serial.
she says i have the hard job in taking care of her. fuck that. thats easy. if men had to carry the baby, we'd all be like 'ok, no more people.' so i'm glad she does it. i'm much more suited in taking care of her instead.
ok. i guess thats all i have for now. i still suck at blogs. later.

say hey to luke! awesome.

old news but this game was so great that i have to talk about it. the stars beat new york 10-2. yeah 10-2. the last time the stars hung 10 on someone i was in fifth grade.

its starting to become difficult for me to continue to be a fan of david beckham. just so you know i wasnt one of those fans who became a fan when he "came to america." me and becks go way back. he was my boy when he came up through manchester united. i still have a framed picture of him in my office...still wearing red though.
honestly, when he signed with LA galaxy, i was excited. mostly excited because galaxy would play fc dallas and i could go see one of my favorite united players here in the states. but all of the times he came to dallas, he was either injured or it was sold out really quick. so i kinda missed my chance.
when the galaxy sent beckham on loan to ac milan, i knew his time in LA was over. i knew he was tired of mls soccer. he wasnt winning over america. he doesnt score goals. he just doesnt. it isnt his game. he sets people up. always has.
now he wants to stay with milan permanently. i mean i guess i dont blame him. playing in italy is a thousand times better than mls. i just think if you sign a contract for $250million over 5 years, you shouldnt be able to bail out to another league. but if you're a world wide superstar, i guess you can get away with stuff like that.

reports say that alex rodriguez tested positive for steroids in 2003 when he played here in texas with the rangers. he was so great when he was here...and he wasn't that big like the other players on steroids. with barry bonds, if you look at his size early in his career and compare it to now, its fucking obvious that he took steroids. but now, when the news about arod came out, it makes so much sense. he just couldnt be that good.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090207/ap_on_sp_ba_ne/bba_rodriguez_steroids_4

tuesday was a good day.
so i went to work. and i left at noon. awesome.
i had to leave to be at steph's 4d ultrasound. it was cool. unfortunately steph has the cd with all the pics on it, so i'll have to post them later. it took about and hour and a half to get some decent shots of luke. he held his hands over his face and wouldnt move. so they asked steph to walk around. so, we did...and steph ate a snickers bar. luke was wired. and so we were able to get some good shots. it was exciting. it was also freaky...since its really real. but i'm more excited than freaked out though. i promise.
and the only thing that would make the day better is if we went to a stars game. wait.
we got tickets to the stars versus calgary game. and stubhub.com is my best friend. we got tickets that would normally be about $100 each for $27 apiece. and the stars won 3-1. and they dominated most of the game. they are now in 6th in the west. and i'm sad to say that i actually had given up on them earlier this season.
ok so two posts in one day is a record for me. i'm done. later.

well, steph and i were enrolled in a birthing class. i was actually excited about the class...especially for steph. and it would be a good refresher type class for me.
when we got to the first class, i could just tell that we would drop out before the end of the six weeks. one of the first things she said was how bad a hospital Baylor Irving...my hospital...was. but that really wasnt that big of a deal. very unprofessional. but that big of a deal.
this nurse educator was really kind of bad. the class was 3 hours long and had 30 minutes of real information. and all of her information was all anti-cesarean. she told this story about her own birth experience. during the birth of her first child, her kid got stuck. the doc wanted to push the baby back in to do a c-section. of course, she refused and demanded that they force the birth vaginally. well, they get the baby out. in the process of pushing the baby out, she ripped from the vaginal area all the way down to her asshole. and it was obvious that she was trying to pressure the whole class into going that route. fuck that. if our doctor wants to push our baby back in and do a c-section, we're doing whatever the fuck she says. the educator kept encouraging the class to second guess your doctor at all times. once steph and i figured that out, we decided to bail. oh well. at least, we toured the hospital.
we told our doctor about the class. as nice as she is, you could tell that she was pissed off. she's the head of women's services at the hospital. so i figure that she will follow up on that educator.
so yeah we dont go to birthing class anymore. honestly, i'm glad to have monday nights open again.

the stars have gone from the worst team in the nhl to 7th in the west. still a long way to go in the season. but its still fucking amazing. that is all.

ok. i'm trying this blog thing again. historically, i suck at blogging. so forgive me if this one doesnt work out either.
anyway, i'm doing this blog so people can see whats up when luke is born. it should be a fun time.
but for now, thats all i got.